Sunday, September 11, 2011

Everyone, on the count of three

It's a ridiculous but common thing to think, that a love of music makes one anymore special than another.

Everyone needs music to feel sane. Everyone hums to themselves in a moment of nervous silence. It's that magic of it that makes everyone feel special, but what is the most beautiful about it.

It's the feeling that you get in your gut when you hear your favorite song. The feeling of everything settling at the first sound of violins in Jesus, Etc or Cat Steven's voice in The Wind, or Conor Oberst screaming, "let's fuck it up boys, make some noise!" in Road to Joy and you scream along as you drive your car. It's playing Blackbird on your guitar and the wonder of being able to create beauty. It's listening to something brand new and wanting to jump out of your skin, you love it so much. It's hearing a verse and thinking, holy shit, if this isn't my life. It's not being able to get a lyric out of your head and scribbling it all over everything you own for days. It's going to a concert of your favorite band and then jumping for joy when its over just because you were there and you felt the energy and it will continue to make you high for hours. It's being happy for no reason other than a song you love just came on the radio and you didn't even know how much you needed to hear it. It's meeting someone who loves a band, a musician, a song, just as much as you and sharing that even for a moment.

When people try to separate themselves by proclaiming that no one feels music like they do, that they need it to breathe as if no one else does too, they're entirely missing the point. Music is togetherness. Even listening to a record alone in your room in a time of melancholy is a bond with that artist, with anyone who's ever played that song and ever will. Music is for remembering and soothing and the past and the future and for friends and lovers and joy and sorrow and pain and in every moment of every life, a connection.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Shitshow, Go to Bed

So you drunkenly got your passport and debit card stolen in a crowded pub last night. You feel incredibly stupid and horrible about yourself and wretched this morning.

But hey! Life goes on! Let's look on the bright side:
-Your mom is still alive (as are all the people you care about)
-You're still in London, still having fun
-Your sister and good friend are still coming up to visit you next week
-A nice boy walked you to the US Embassy this morning, perhaps out of obligation and a reluctant sense of chivalry, but nevertheless, he walked you.
-You made an appointment with said Embassy, and they said that you'd have an emergency passport in time for spring break.
-You have two lovely roommates who were very concerned about your well-being/whereabouts last night/this morning.

They say that bad decisions make good stories. It might take a few weeks for the rawness of this particular flub to fade out to good story material, but everything will work itself out.

Life goes on!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

My Life Right Now

Subtitle: How fucking exciting it is.

It's hard to imagine myself a year ago standing in front of me now. It's hard to imagine that little, insecure train wreck, hung-up on a guy who was obviously not what she was looking for, uncomfortable in her body and with herself, little to no interest in her appearance, zip confidence in most areas of her life. I could tell her a thing or two, certainly.

But that's irrelevant. I'm looking ahead, not back.

In the coming months, not only will I be spending the last of my time in London, but I will also be taking trips to places that I've only dreamed about visiting. My future holds weekend jaunts to Madrid, Stockholm, Scotland, and Wales. It contains an extended trip to Italy with two of my favorite people in the world, to Rome as well as Venice, a city that I've wanted to visit as long as I can remember. Even in returning back to the States, my summer promises roadtrips if I can make them happen, hopefully to California and Long Island, but more concretely to Tennessee, for a music festival that I've been wanting to attend for years, Bonnaroo.

Let's say that again, swish it around in our mouths for effect. I am going to Bonnaroo. True, the tickets haven't been purchased yet, all those involved have not yet given their final answer but it's a short step from here to definite. I'll get to see my dream band, Arcade Fire. Some of my newest favorites, such as Matt & Kim, Chiddy Bang, Gogol Bordello, Freelance Whales. Some old favorites; Iron & Wine, The Decemberists, The Strokes.

Sometimes I have to be reminded that I'm even in London. Sometimes, I get bogged down by petty things and have to remind myself what fantastic opportunities lie ahead of me. This is my year, my semester, my summer. It's true, I'm not really thinking of my life beyond June right now. But, why should I, when the next few months will see the completion of so many of my long-held goals and dreams?
Next year, school, career, marriage, children, life can wait. This is my time.

It's sunny in London and I am excited about everything.*

*As is usually the way in London-town, between taking this picture and putting it up, the sun went away but, today, it's enough that it was simply out. x

Friday, January 21, 2011

like a dream

i dreamt myself awake
in a resort hotel
above a golden coast
beside my Southern belle
we heard the sea reborn
in each singing shell

and every coughing car
and every coiled snake
and every shrieking star
and every burning stake
dissolved to atmosphere
all of everything, erased

i spread into a distant hum
i droned along with everyone
and the earth grew green and nursed herself to what she used to be
all our senseless shouting calmed to quiet in her ancient memory

and oh!, what a joy,
to be free.

[all of everything, erased - kevin devine]

Friday, November 26, 2010

Goals for the Spring

1. Connect with people. Converse. Don't worry about impressions.
2. Be less afraid (to get lost, to know people, to not know people, to be alone)
3. Love and be loved.
4. Discover.
5. Cherish solitude, instead of wondering why I'm alone.
6. Don't feel embarrassed when life is not exciting.
7. Make life more exciting
8. Stop worrying about money. Or worry about it, but not to the point of guiltiness.
9. Feel comfortable in this fantastic instrument called a body.
10. Be more fashionable. Hats, boots, dresses, you know.
11. Write papers ahead of time.
12. Cut hair courageously short.
13. Photography
14. Write. For oneself, for the purpose of not forgetting, to record, for no reason, for posterity.
16. Read
17. Walk
18. Do crazy things with little to no regard to inhibitions and regrets.
19. Say yes more often than no; say love more often than hate.
20. Give wine a chance, maybe get a taste for it.
21. Have the time of my life.

T minus 49 days until I'm a student at Regents College, London, England. Fuck yes.

Monday, October 18, 2010

You Can Get Through Anything

Now say it in the mirror:
you can get through anything
you can get through anything
you can get through anything.

Eyes on the prize, you'll be just fine.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

You Climb Endless Trees - You Reignite

say no more, use your eyes, the world goes and flutters by
use your eyes, you'll know you are
use your eyes, the world goes and flutters by
use your eyes, you'll know you are

[boy lilikoi - jonsi]